


tell me you've been saving it for me

by likewinning



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Retail, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 18:36:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6295309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likewinning/pseuds/likewinning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Wouldn't it be easier if you just put out a bowl of chips and a vat of queso dip? I've <em>met</em> your friends."</p>
            </blockquote>





	tell me you've been saving it for me

Jason sends the invitations out two weeks in advance, which in retrospect was probably a terrible idea. None of his idiot friends remember their work schedules, much less the time and date for a dinner party. It's fine, though. He sends out a mass text on his way to Bruce's house: _losers. don't forget. my boyfriend's house, 6:30PM. YES THERE WILL BE FOOD. get your sorry asses there on time._

Tim responds with a picture of him flipping the bird, but Jason figures he'll help get everyone else there.

"Wouldn't it be easier," Damian asks, "If you just put out a bowl of chips and a vat of queso dip? I've _met_ your friends."

"Hush," Jason says. He gave Damian the very important job of peeling the potatoes, while Bruce's sole duty is keeping out of the kitchen. "This is a _classy_ party."

"With your friends," Damian says.

"Uh-huh," Jason says. He's too busy sweating over the stove to give Damian a reassuring smile. "It'll be fine, dude. Just. Maybe we'll work out a barricade to keep Roy from going upstairs?"

"Maybe we should plastic wrap the whole house," Damian mutters. Jason doesn't smack him on the back of the head with a wooden spoon, but only because he doesn't want to have to sanitize it afterward.

 

*

 

"Everything smells delicious," Bruce says when he comes into the kitchen a while later. His skin is still warm from the shower when he presses a kiss to Jason's cheek.

"I helped," Damian pipes up from where he's sweeping potato skin off the kitchen floor.

"Good job," Bruce says. "Why don't you go get changed? I'll clean up."

Damian gives him a dubious look, but the kid only knows what chores _are_ because Jason handed him a broom on one of Alfred's off days and threatened to confiscate his video games if he didn't sweep up one of his messes, so after a minute he says, "Fine," and runs off.

"You're magic, you know," Bruce tells Jason, dipping his head down to graze his teeth on his collar bone.

"I'm _busy_ , is what I am," Jason says. "Do I have to find you something to do to entertain yourself?"

"Oh," Bruce assures him. He squeezes Jason's ass, and Jason groans and nearly upends the pot he's stirring. "I'm _very_ entertained."

"Bruce," Jason whines. "I'm on a _schedule_ here."

"Relax," Bruce says. He sucks a hickey into Jason's neck. "There's no way any of them will be on time, anyway."

Just like that, the doorbell rings.

"See what you did?" Jason asks, shoving Bruce off of him. "Go get the door. Dinner's almost done."

 

*

 

"Don't worry," Dick tells him. "I warned everyone that they have to behave like grown-ups." This is after, of course, he hugged Jason tight enough to choke him, ruffled his hair, and purposely undid the top two buttons of his shirt.

"Thanks, Dickie," Jason says. He looks at all of them. Steph's dressed in a long black dress so low-cut that Jason thinks he loses a couple minutes staring at her. Tim's dressed nice, an oxford and dress pants, but Tim comes from money so Jason's not surprised. Dick's wearing his least awful t-shirt and the only pair of jeans that doesn't have alcohol, paint, or holes and he's wearing what he calls his _fancy_ piercings. And Roy -

"I look like James Bond, right?" Roy asks, gesturing to the suit and tie that's either a rental or was stolen off a mannequin in the mall.

Jason looks to Tim, who shrugs. "I tried to dress him. It's harder to do when we're not rolling on acid."

"Fair enough," Jason says. "Should we eat?"

" _Please_ ," Dick says. "We got so baked in the car, and -" Jason glares, and Roy elbows Dick in the side. "Oops. We were supposed to pretend to be drug-free grown-ups."

They reach the dining room, and Tim picks up a fork and inspects it, holds it up to the light. Jason makes a memo to check Tim's pockets before he leaves.

"Hey, Bruce," Roy says. "Little man," he says to Damian, and Damian glares at him.

"I'm not _little_ ," Damian says. "I'm almost as tall as _he_ is," he says, pointing to Tim.

"Yeah," Tim says. "But that's because I did so many -" Jason kicks him under the table.

Bruce laughs, or maybe chokes. "Um," he says. "Wine, everyone?" Jason considers keeping a bottle to himself, especially after Bruce accidentally spills some all over Tim's nice white shirt.

"I'm so sorry," Bruce says, and Tim nods and says, "It's fine," but Jason catches him doing that deep breathing technique like when a customer asks if they have any _Frozen_ merchandise.

At least the food is good. Even Damian doesn't complain, until Steph gets to her second glass of wine and asks him if he has a boyfriend yet.

" _Steph_ ," Jason says. He'd kick her, too, but Steph's wearing heels that could go through bone and he's not about to mess with that.

"What?" Steph asks. "Everyone else at this table likes dick, I was only going with probability."

Next to him, Roy and Tim are laughing so hard their faces are red. Bruce sounds like he's choking again, and across the table, Dick looks like he's trying _very_ hard to be an adult about this, but his whole face is scrunched up with wanting to laugh.

"Damian," Jason starts, but Dick interrupts -

"Don't worry, kiddo," he says. "You don't gotta decide now. I mean, look at Jason. He's -"

Bruce clears his throat. "Much as I'm sure we all think your opinions on sexuality are important, Dick - perhaps we could save this subject for another time."

Now _Steph's_ laughing, and Dick looks pissed.

"Um," Jason says. "I'm gonna go. Check on dessert."

He half-runs to the kitchen, and he's in the middle of slicing pieces of homemade pie when Bruce comes up behind him and plants a kiss on his shoulder. "You can't leave me in there with those animals," he teases.

"They're not animals," Jason says. "They're my friends."  
"Mm," Bruce says. He wraps his arms around Jason. "Right now, Tim and Roy have absolutely disappeared to go have sex in one of the spare bedrooms."

"Goddamnit," Jason says. He tries to move out of Bruce's grip so he can go kick their asses, but Bruce holds them still. "I _told_ them -"

"Jay," Bruce says. He mouths at Jason's ear, licks at the silver hoop Jason's wearing.

Jason shivers. "It's just," he says. "I wanted to do something _nice_ , you know? Something that isn't just getting wasted and waking up on the floor with silly string in my hair."

Bruce snorts. "There are worse alternatives, aren't there?"

"Fucker," Jason says. He elbows Bruce in his stupid perfect abs.

"You don't have to prove anything to me, Jay," Bruce says. He turns Jason around and presses him back against the counter, and they make out slow and lazy for a while.

"Although," Bruce says when he pulls back. He grins. "You do make an _adorable_ little hostess."

Jason beams. "Damn straight I do. Now help me carry everything back to those animals."

 

*

 

When they get back to the dining room it's just Steph, Damian and Dick left at the table. Steph has her phone out and she's texting, while Damian's chattering a mile a minute at Dick. "Of course," Damian's saying, "I plan on skipping a grade or two, but Father says it's important to socialize with people my own age." He wrinkles his nose. "Even though they're all _idiots_."

"Aw," Dick says. "I bet they're not. When I was your age -"

"Dessert," Bruce interrupts, like he's sure a horrifying story is about to happen. Dick shuts up _immediately_ and starts grabbing for a piece.

"I get two because Tim and Roy are - I mean," Dick cuts himself off, looking over at Damian.

"Please," Damian says. He rolls his eyes. "I'm not a _child_. They're upstairs _fornicating_."

Steph starts laughing so hard she drops her phone and it goes flying across the table. "I get the other extra piece," she says then.

Jason ignores them both, walks to the bottom of the stairs and shouts, "If you guys don't get down here right now, you're forfeiting pie!"

Thirty seconds later, Tim and Roy come down the stairs. Tim's buttoning up his pants, and Roy's hair is all kinds of fucked up, but at least Roy looks _slightly_ guilty. Tim just slides back into his seat, hands his fork to Roy, and waits for him to start feeding him.

"The hell with this," Jason says. He opens up the second bottle of wine and starts drinking straight from it, which means by the time Roy starts licking cherry filling from the corner of Tim's mouth he's _totally_ buzzed enough to deal.

Steph nudges him under the table. "This is really good, Jason," she says. "Dinner was, too."

"I helped," Damian pipes up. He's moved his chair right next to Dick and now they're talking about video games.

"Thanks," Jason says. Bruce puts his hand on the small of Jason's back, and he feels himself relax a little.

They all sit and talk for a while, and then Tim (after helping him finish off the rest of the wine) helps him clean up while everyone else heads out to the back yard.

"My parents used to have parties like this," Tim says while they wash the dishes.

"Yeah?" Jason asks.

"Yeah," Tim says. "I wasn't invited, of course. Not after the first time I showed up in a skirt and heels."

"Shit," Jason says. "You know you could've worn whatever you wanted, right? I'm not - you're my friend."

"I know," Tim says. "I just mean you don't have to go through so much trouble for _us_. Not even Bruce. And next time Roy and I will try to behave better."

Jason laughs. "All I ask is that you try. At least if the kid's around."

Tim laughs, and then he's quiet until they finish with the dishes and head out to join the others. "You know," he says. "I think that's the first time you've ever called me your friend."

"Shit," Jason says. "Must be the booze."

Tim grins. "Sure it is."

 

*

 

Outside, Bruce is lying back in one of the lawn chairs telling Steph stories about his time in a band while Dick and Roy are throwing a football around with Damian. Jason doesn't even know where they _found_ a football - Damian's on the track team, and he's been trying to convince Bruce to let him play hockey, but -

"Jay!" Dick says when he sees him. "Come play with us! We need even teams."

"Nah," Jason says. He collapses onto Bruce's lap and gestures to Tim. "Take Tim. You know he tackles shoplifters like nobody's business." He grins at Damian. "Better watch out, kiddo."

Steph heads out first since she has to open in the morning, and then it's just Bruce and Jason watching the idiots run around the yard. "See?" Bruce asks. "That wasn't so bad."

"Yeah," Jason says. "Maybe we'll invite your friends next time."

Bruce laughs. "Do you want to give everyone a heart attack? Even Damian's terrified of Diana and Mera."

"Exactly," Jason says. He squirms back against Bruce, and when he feels Bruce's fingers under his shirt, he mumbles, "I wish they'd go home now. Wine makes me want to fuck _everything_."

"Hm," Bruce says. "Would they really notice if we disappeared for a while?"

"Dunno," Jason says. "But it'd make me a _terrible_ hostess."

"Nonsense," Bruce says. "It's my house, and I get to be the judge of that."

Jason licks his lips. "I love it when you get that tone." He tries to move Bruce's hand lower, but Bruce holds him still.

"Not here," Bruce says. "Come on now."

They don't even make it to the bedroom. They reach the kitchen, Jason's legs curled around Bruce's waist, and then Bruce sets him on the counter, pulls down his pants and sucks him down. He brings his hand up to Jason's mouth and Jason sucks and slurps on his fingers to keep from _screaming_.

When he opens his eyes, Bruce is looking up at him, and Jason thinks of a hundred dumb things he could tell him because wine makes him _talk_ , but instead he swirls his tongue around Bruce's fingers in promise.

He tips his head back, bumps it on the cabinet handle and digs his hands into Bruce's hair. His whole body shakes when he comes, and Bruce pulls off without spilling a drop.

"Fuck," Jason says.

"Feel better?" Bruce asks, with that _smug_ look like when he manages to make Jason come twice in an hour.

"Just about," Jason says. He slides off the counter and down to his knees, unzips Bruce's pants and swallows until he feels Bruce in the back of his throat, feels Bruce's hands on his head, the cloth of Bruce's pants rubbing against his nose with every downward movement.

Bruce isn't quiet. Not when Jason stays the night, not the morning after, not when Jason comes to see him at his office with lunch and a fuck on his desk. Jason thinks maybe he should feel bad, but every time Bruce says, _Jason, yes, so **good**_ , it's just not possible.

Outside it's getting dark and Jason can still hear everyone else in the yard, but more than anything he hears Bruce saying, " _Jay_ ," as he throws his head back and let's go, holds Jason on him while he comes so _hard_.

Bruce pulls him to his feet then, and he's painfully gentle when he cups Jason's face, kisses the taste of himself from his lips. "Like I said. You," Bruce says, "are the perfect little hostess."

Jason laughs, bites Bruce's mouth. "That mean I gotta dole out blowjobs to everybody? 'Cause -"

"I _do_ feel a bit left out," Dick says, walking into the kitchen with a bloody lip. Jason and Bruce quickly pull their pants back on. "Everyone else is getting some and I'm getting beat up."

"Did Damian -" Bruce starts, and Dick nods. "And he was on my team!"

"See, Bruce?" Jason asks. "I _told_ you he's not too small to play hockey."

"Hello?" Dick whines. "Injured, here? _Jay_."

"Sit down," Jason says. "I'll get you some ice, you big baby."

Bruce looks like he can't decide whether to laugh or apologize. "I'll… go check on the others," he decides, and heads back outside.

Jason gets Dick some ice for his lip. "No more competitive sports with demon children, okay?" he says, and Dick scowls. 

"We were just having fun. It's _not_ like I was fornicating in a public area."

Jason's really proud of himself for not blushing. "Whatever. I'm allowed."

"Yeah, you are." Dick pats his cheek. "My little Jaybird's all grown up. Sugar daddy, mansion, kid - all you need is a dog."

"Nah," Jason says. "You guys are the only animals I need."

Dick pouts at him, so Jason promises him he can take the rest of the pie home. Damian won't be _that_ mad.


End file.
